I recently found a great deal on an all-inclusive in the Dominican Republic. I had never been to an all-inclusive, all I knew was there was going to be a beach and as much alcohol as I felt the need to consume. Sign me up.
I received the first taste of the people I was to encounter on this trip at Dulles airport. I sat overhearing (alright eavesdropping) two women discuss their extensive travel logs, mainly to Cancun or South Padre Island. They were reminding each other of helpful hints they'd learned along the way such as not to drink the water, don't even let them put ice in your drinks.
How was I to sit around the pool with my fruity umbrella drink if I wasn't allowed ice? I decided I would risk it.
It was once we arrived at the resort that I realized I did not fit in to the three categories of people that choose an all-inclusive resort in the Dominican. The first being young families from South America, the second being retirees and the third and my personal favorite, newlyweds. Wait. Midwestern newlyweds.
I had never before seen so many girls with such artificially tanned skin that it was beginning to look grey, perfectly manicured fingernails and white tank tops with BRIDE bedazzled across the breast.
My favorite couple were newlyweds from Ohio. They sat across from us on the back of a truck taking us to ride dune buggies one day. When they first sat down, they were all smiles and ready to really get out there and see the native lands. However, the excitement slowly melted away once they realized that they were in fact leaving the resort.
"You know, we couldn't even understand what that man was saying," the attractive Midwestern girl whispered to her new husband, "they could be taking us anywhere right now."
"Well you were the one talking to him, did you see our name on the list?"
"I don't know he pulled it away too fast."
To calm their fears, they began filling the awkward silence with chatter such as, 'so today's Tuesday. Tomorrow's Wednesday.' I refused to help fill any silence and instead I believe probably stared a little too intensely at them, but I was intrigued. They then began talking about how everyone would think that they weren't even married yet because he didn't bring his ring. Yep they really pulled one over on everyone.
It turns out that the driver did in fact take us to the appropriate place to ride the dune buggies and we proceeded to drive out to a private beach where we watched the two of them pose for pictures straight out of the swimsuit section of the Sears catalog.
On the drive back, they were feeling much better and talking up a storm with everyone else on the truck. There were the two overweight policeman from Michigan wearing t-shirts with cut off sleeves, with very skinny over-tanned wives wearing cowboy hats and large sunglasses. Then there was an extremely young couple who looked uncomfortable sitting next to each other yet had giant hickeys all over their necks. Throw in a couple overweight sisters and we were one big happy family back there.
The Ohio couple was leading the conversation about how awful the buffets at each person's respective resort was, when we went over a particularly rough patch of road.
"The city really needs to get on this," she said shaking her head.
My boyfriend and I remained mute the entire trip back along with a middle aged German couple. One by one, the other couples were let off at their resorts finally leaving it down to us, the German couple and the Ohioans. The uncomfortable look came back to their faces, but they kept the banter up between each other. When it was time for them to get off the truck, they quickly grabbed their belongings and bounded back into the safe arms of their resort. The four of us watched silently and then looked at each other. I know, our eyes said. I know.
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